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The History of the Diamond Engagement Ring   by Ryan Brower

Though diamonds are still very expensive, this was especially true prior to the late 19th century, when they discovered large diamond deposits in Africa. Coincidentally, this large diamond discovery happened during the industrial revolution in the United States. This combination of increased size of the middle class and an increase in supply prompted the rise in popularity of diamonds as engagement rings that we see today. In the United States, 80% of engagement rings are set with a diamond.

Throughout much of history, engagement rings were simple bands made out of the best material the couple could afford. This could be many different metals or even found objects in nature. During the pioneer days when puritans were settling the country the common engagement ring was a thimble. This would be worn until after the wedding when the top would be cut off to form a ring.

With the rise of the middle class a gold band became the standard choice, leading way to the modern gold band with a diamond setting.  With the rise in higher quality materials and bigger price tags came an increase in laws to protect the buyers. 

Different areas of the world have different laws regarding the giving of an engagement ring. In the UK the wedding ring is considered a gift, and if the engagement is broken of the woman is in no way legally bound to give the ring back. In some states and countries the engagement ring becomes her property only after the marriage occurs, so she is legally bound to give the ring back if the marriage is broken off.
 
In some areas,  the person who breaks off the marriage can make a difference in how the law is applied. For example if the woman calls it off she is legally bound to give it back.

There have been various cases brought to court over an engagement ring that was given but that didn't end up in marriage. Here you can't help but think that if you can't settle that matter out of court, it's a good thing they didn't get married!

Here is a case from New South Wales as taken from Wiki:

One case in New South Wales, Australia ended in the man suing his former fiancée because she threw the ring in the trash after he told her she could keep it, despite the marriage proposal failing. The Supreme Court of New South Wales held that despite what the man said, the ring remained a conditional gift (partly because his saying that she could keep it was partly due to his desire to salvage the relationship) and she was ordered to pay him its AUD$15,250 cost.
At $15, 250, that's probably worth going to court for! He must have really screwed up to have her throw it in the trash.

A diamond engagement ring is a relatively recent tradition. It's a beautiful gift if you can afford one, but by all means refrain from going into debt for it. Early in the 20th century the largest diamond company, DeBeers, marketed the 2-3 months salary idea as the "proper" amount you should spend. How long will it take you to save that amount? Say you make 30,000, that's 5,000-7,500 for a ring. That amount will get you a very big diamond, way more than most people have. In fact, as of 2007, the average spent on an engagement ring was $2100, far more reasonable. For that price you can get a very nice ring in a solidly made setting.

Remember this is a token of your love, not some way to keep up with your neighbors. Yet somehow that DeBeers benchmark has stuck, making most of the grooms feel guilty for staying with their means. For something really special, buy a diamond with what you can afford(say 1 months earnings) and use a local bench jeweler for a quality custom setting. Practicality and prudence are valuable too, and I'm sure she'll appreciate those qualities in her future husband.

About the Author

Ryan was lucky enough to inherit a diamond to use for his engagement ring. It was a beautiful ring, and it's too bad she broke off the marriage. Good thing she gave the ring back, so he's well prepared for the next one!

He is now single and selling Asheville jewelry, art, and crafts at Van Dyke Jewelry and Fine Craft in Asheville, NC.
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